Frankman’s Battlefield 3 patch notes book report

When I posted the nigh-unbelievably long Battlefield 3 patch notes yesterday, I couldn’t get over just how many changes were being made. The number was high enough that I jokingly stated I would offer extra credit to anyone who wrote a book report on the novel-length list.

I didn’t exactly expect anyone to do so.

But one intrepid soul, Frankman, took it upon himself to type up such an assignment. He included plot, settings, and thematic analysis. As someone who graduated with a BA in English, I was almost brought to tears. Enjoy!

The increasingly long patch notes of Battlefield 3 Book report

General Gameplay Fixes is one of the many jokes included by the author in this book. The title suggests that it would be quite concise and to the point but what follows is a long list of various different aspects of the updates.

The vehicle fixes section explores the deep psychological part of the protagonist’s mind. All of these “upgrades” are really a metaphor noting how the character constantly wants to improve upon himself and how he thinks he is a massive pessimist.

The weapon changes segment shows how the character’s violent personality grows over time leading to the murder of his various enemies. All of the different weapons show his different emotional states during different stages of the book

The accessories bit shows how he still wishes to be part of the crowd and not be left out. He does this using the various accessories and it shows how they change his behavior over time. For example, the scope makes him more isolated.

The team and squad deathmatch part at the end shows how our hero finally makes friends and learns how to cooperate with his allies, a heartwarming ending to an excellent novel.

—Frankman