When is it okay to abuse other gamers?
Back in May, I wrote a piece here on why I was tentative about playing DOTA 2.
One of the main reasons I was leery of joining the MOBA fun was the numerous reports and personal experience of unnecessarily toxic players, people who filled every lobby with rage, and condescending anger.
Months later, this article is still sparking a great deal of discussion in the comments and I want to get at the heart of verbal abuse in games, along with some other points I’ve seen made regarding the current state of online abuse.
“It’s part of every game, get over it”
One of the weakest arguments I’ve heard for defending abusive players is also one of the most common. Whilst you can always find someone acting like a dick in an online game (or anywhere, for that matter) this does not mean it’s inherently part of the game; I can’t think of an online game that actively encourages you to abuse fellow players.
Even if there was an actual majority of players being abusive rather than just a very vocal minority, that doesn’t mean that it’s OK or acceptable. In professional real-life sports, players who are being abusive get a fine or official warning. Why? The officials want to send a clear message that bad behaviour is not acceptable nor is it welcomed in a competitive gaming environment. Consider this: If abuse is an acceptable part of games as a whole then why does Microsoft, Riot, Blizzard and many other game companies issue punishments for being abusive?
“There’s a mute function, use it”
Pretty much every game nowadays has some kind of mute or ignore function built into the game due to toxic players or trolls. In fact, most social interactions online have a form of ignore/block/mute so that people acting like pricks can’t bother you any more. When a friend of mine read my DOTA 2 piece, he told me that the game isn’t that bad, providing that you ignore and mute everyone else as quickly as possible.
To me, it seems ludicrous that you’d have to do this in order to enjoy a game. It’s admitting that the abuse you would otherwise receive makes the game unbearable! It’s also a huge hindrance in games where communication is necessary to lead a team to victory. At best, it makes it difficult to strategize a push for the win, and at worst it can make playing the game impossible (especially at lower levels of play where newer players don’t know what’s going on). Mute functions are a necessity so that someone spamming music or screaming down a microphone doesn’t bother you, sure. You can also block someone constantly spamming text nonsense… but this does not give you an excuse to act like a prick and abuse other players.
“It’s OK to abuse people if they’re new/are obviously bad”
This is a path of thought that a few comments in my original DOTA 2 article that seems particularly ludicrous to me. One commenter that brought this point up was “Ryan”:
The only time in my experience where I see [someone being abusive] is when someone doesn’t even know how to play the game, buys random items and [dies repeatedly]. One way to remedy this surprisingly easy problem is to learn the game and practice with BOTS or AI, read guides on specific heroes and the mechanics of the game. It takes a matter of days to learn [DOTA 2]. So if you start a [DOTA 2] game 5v5 online completely fresh, you deserve to be [abused].
Now look, I understand how frustrating it can be to have a brand new player on your team. It can be especially annoying in MOBA games as every time they die, they give the enemy team more gold which makes them a much bigger pest. I’ll also agree that practising the game and reading guides will make you gradually improve in the game.
However, I disagree with spending days of study to learn everything in a game before daring to set foot in a game with human opponents! Whilst everyone enjoys winning a game, there aren’t that many who are willing to do so at the expense of having fun. That’s why people still play games, right? To have fun?
I mean, I’ve not seen a game tell players that it’s for pro players only and that you really should spend a few days in study before beginning to play it because you might inconvenience a few players. Players who, by the way, are more than able to help you out (assuming, of course, that they have actually been playing longer than you and aren’t just talking out of their arse in regards to how 5UP4H 1337 ‘skilled’ they are) but decide to instead be abusive because hey, you brought this on yourself. Besides, no one gets a game on a whim and tries it out just because it looks good, do they? They obviously put all their thought into buying a game and then look up everything so that they can play with the utmost efficiency on Day One. Fun is irrelevant. Enjoyment is irrelevant. There is only 1337|\|355 ‘skill’.
“Don’t jump in the deep end if you haven’t learned to swim.”
Sorry, lost my train of thought. Ryan continues:
If you start off learning a sport, lets say swimming, you would never win versus Michael Phelps or even an average swimmer for example.
So, if you are placed in a swimming relay race and it turns out you can’t even float, your team will definitely be angry with you. They tell you to go for training, and learn some new techniques and that eventually, you’ll improve.
The analogy falls apart a little bit here. Players in games aren’t ALWAYS playing a game at a competitive level; remember the whole ‘fun’ thing I mentioned earlier? Also, this discussion was about new players in particular. You’re not joining a competitive team, failing to float and having your team mates get angry at you, you’re trying to get in the pool to start learning how to swim but getting met with abuse when you reveal you can’t tread water. My whole point before was that people are not being helpful to new players because they’re electing to abuse instead. So telling someone to “learn2play,” or to uninstall, or to kill themselves is hardly saying that they should probably go for some training to help them improve.
. . . [People] should learn that in online games, being flamed for being a noob is natural and [they shouldn’t] take any disrespectful or intolerant remark too seriously. Instead, heed any advice they may give you and learn how to be INDEPENDENT and improve.
A better solution is for people to not make intolerant or disrespectful remarks at all. If they’re not meant to be taken so seriously and everyone knows this because it’s only natural to be toxic towards new players, why do people who, surely, want new players to improve so they have better team mates decide to be abusive anyway? Again, my point is that many players do not give advice and are only abusive towards newbies.
In regards to players being independent and improving by themselves, wouldn’t that necessitate that they play in games against human opponents with other players? You can read up as much as you like about a game and even play against AI, but nothing is an appropriate substitute for playing against humans. The vibe I get from this kind of logic is “You need to improve in such a way so that you become a useful tool in my games to ensure my victories but you shouldn’t play with me in case you ruin my game or my chances of winning”.
The truth: Abusing players is a always futile
Being abusive to players is not necessary. It doesn’t help them to improve and it doesn’t make them want to continue playing. The selfishness shown by those who think it’s fine to abuse other players is the real culprit in why people don’t enjoy or have difficulty winning public games. This is true in almost any team-based title, be it in DOTA 2, League of Legends, Call of Duty, Team Fortress 2, World of Warcraft or Spiral Knights. Team games, people. Your teammates will respond better to positive reinforcement rather than death threats. And, in the long run, helping them improve will make the game better for everyone online.
Oh, one more thing contributed by draak:
The reason Dota 2 is a frustrating game for new players is because it is inherently difficult…
…Dota 2 is a very easy game at its core.
Which is it, and what’s that got to do with abuse?!
I didn’t read the original article you’re referencing, but well done. The points you make are spectacular, and echo what I’ve been saying myself for some time, now.
When I come across many of these ‘points’, they’re not necessarily in relation to new players, but female players.
“You deserve abuse if you’re making it obvious that you’re a female gamer.”
“It’s not sexism.”
“Harassment is just part of the player base.”
Sounds familiar, no? I’ve said time and time again that harassment and abuse of other players is wrong, regardless of gender, regardless of age, regardless of sexual orientation, race and playing skill. I’m not saying that a little trash-talking earns you a fiery spot in Hell, but saying, “lol – you suck” isn’t the same as “I’m going to rape you, your mom, your dad and your dog, bitch.” It’s also not the same as berating a new player for daring to try a new game.
Not cool.
I was pretty disgusted regarding the outcry to the new Xbox LIVE policy saying that any sexist remarks will get you a permanent ban as all people seemed to say was “What do you MEAN I can’t call people fags any more or be a dick towards women?! I HAVE A RIGHT TO DO THAT!”.
No. You don’t have a right to be a discriminatory, homophobic, sexist bigot. The website Fat, Ugly or Slutty shows just how bad some gamers can be and it’s a real problem that needs to be addressed.
Trash talking is completely separate to abuse as it’s often light hearted and given on both sides. It promotes a kind of friendly rivalry which can really contribute to the community feel of a game. For example, in Planetside 2 the Terrans (red), New Conglomerate (blue) and Vaanu (purple) are called Elmos, Smurfs and Barneys respectively and, due to their air vehicles, Vaanu are also called Cylon Gits. Threats aren’t being made, the player isn’t being discriminated against and it’s not genuinely hate filled.
Light hearted smack talk = A bit of good fun that all sides can take part in.
Being abusive/hateful = Not cool.
Another website to visit is Not In The Kitchen, Anymore (notinthekitchenanymore.com), which is similar, just uses audio recordings to document verbal abuse toward the website maker, Jenny. it’s downright shocking how some people will react to something as simple as a woman speaking over the mic.
The fact that you or anyone else thinks they should be able to control the way others talk stems from the terrible problem known as “pride” and makes itself known in the “entitlement mentality”. This idea that you know what is right or wrong for someone else takes away basic freedoms. In the end letting insults get to you makes you at fault not the person slinging them. You are in control of your actions, take responsiblity for the way you react instead of being a child and complaining about your reaction to an energy form known as sound.
@WoolyEvil
Yeah, people acting like abusive dicks is entirely the victim’s fault. I’m sure those who have been verbally, racially and sexually abused completely agree with you.
@Binerexis
So I obviously need to go over this again very, very slowly (read this like I am talking in slow motion). It is the victims fault for the way that they react, granted the attacker is also at fault for the way they acted or what they said. You are ignoring the aspect of personal responsibility. If some one callls you “insert some generic insult” you have a CHOICE, you can react and become controlled by the person who is just dying for you to get mad, or you can ignore it and realize that you are in control of yourself and not some random person trolling whatever avenue you are walking down. This is all null and void, of course, if you are willing to admit that you are not in control and stepped back about 10 steps on the psychoevolutionary tree.
@Wooly
So your point is that dicks have free reign to be dicks and it’s all down to the victim if they feel like they’ve been treated unfairly. You’re still not painting this in any kind of good light.
If you find you can detach yourself so easily from your emotions, that’s grand. I, on the other hand, prefer to be aware of my emotions and make the choice to not be a psychopath.
(Read the above as if I’m pondering whether or not I’m talking to a troll or just an unpleasant person)
Negative, you are misunderstanding, jumping to conclusions based off of your opinions, and generally trying to illicit an unneeded emtional response from me in order to make me lose focus. I just stated in my last comment that the attacker is at fault for his actions and words. My point is personal responsibility, both on the part of the person throwing insults and the part of the person receiving them. Calling me a psychopath may have some basis, but the fact that I can control myself (by being aware of my emotions and having preemptive cool-down methods in response) has nothing to do with my other mental issues that merit me that title. Its is ironic however that you are so obviously angry about all the “dicks” on the internets and are currently acting in almost the exact same manner that they do. I am different than you so, you insult me. Its the exact same thing as when a girl, homosexual, or anything-but-anglo-saxon person gets on a multiplayer game and is attacked for being different than the majority.
Hey man, if you think I’m insulting you then that’s all on you, nothing to do with me.
So what you are saying is that it is my fault for thinking that you are attempting to insult me?
Are you trying to say I’m being vague?
I’m not saying you are being vague, I am saying you inadvertently agreed with my by saying ” if you think I’m insulting you then that’s all on you”. If I were to get mad about the fact that tried to insult me numerous times it would be my fault that I allowed myself to be drawn into anger. In otherwords “Boom…headshot.”
Sry, should say “agreed with me by saying” not “agreed with my by saying”.
Nothing inadvertent about it, my words were deliberate. Will elaborate further in the morning if I’ve not grown bored of you by then. <3
So you deliberatly picked statements that contradicted each other by saying “So your point is that dicks have free reign to be dicks and it’s all down to the victim if they feel like they’ve been treated unfairly” (which you apparently didn’t think was correct) and then turned around and said basically the exact opposite “if you think I’m insulting you then that’s all on you”. The first of those two statements translates into the idea that the person at fault for the victims feelings of insult is the attacker but, the later of those two statements brings across the point that I agree with, it is up to the recipient of the insult to deal with it in a mature manner. I’d say I have proven direct contradication between two pivotal comments in your argument. And becoming bored with me is out of the question, I am entirley to irritating and tenacious for you to become bored with me.
You’re too irritating? Ha, cute.
By the way, the world is flat and I hate BIT.TRIP.BEAT.
I confused as to why you would say that the world is flat. Is it simply for humor or are you trying to send me some sort of message. I’ll take the second half of your comment as humor because that games is awsum.
Shit man, you were so close. Seriously, SO close. Oh well, better luck next time.
You never elaborated on your direct contradiction, you only tried to distract from the point at hand by way of humor and then more insults. You said ” Will elaborate further in the morning” like 3 days ago and have not done so.
As I said before, you really WERE close but not quite there. Like I said, better luck next time.
Your lack of honesty in your actions and attitude, as opposed to your words, is disappointinly hypocritical. It is unfortunate, I thought speaking to you and hearing your “elaboration” on your idea’s would be interesting. I know that you will probably just childishly repeat your last comment again (taking into consideration your 2 previous comments) or come up with some similar way to try to sluff off the things I am saying but, if you removed your self a little bit form your pride you might have more fun playing DOTA and not have to fall into weakness by blaming others for your problems and reactions.
Another valiant effort but still no cigar.
I agree with both @Binerexis and @WoolyEvil on a few points.
However what needs to be understood and has not been brought in to this discussion is the gamers intentions. By this, I mean, why do they play a particular game. For instance, I play MineCraft with enemies turned off. Every game I own it requires me to kill something, so MineCraft is a nice way for me just to relax and chill simply by searching caves and building stuff. SO my intention to play minecraft is to relax, craft and create…not to fight or be in anyway competitive.
Unfortunately, I don’t know anything about the game you’re referencing in the article. But different players have different intentions. This is where perceptions come in and are crucial to the interpretation of dialogue via online communication.
People play games for all sorts of reasons whether it be for catharsis, competition, socializing with friends or whatever. The point is we dont behave the same in these situations. So of course if someones intention to play a game online to be competitive it is likely they would assume the other person has the same gaming intentions. WHen we are in a competitive mode we are generally more aggressive, if the other gamer is not playing competitively this can be interpreted much more violently and can be upsetting and cause a negative and anti-social gaming experience.
That isn’t to support the idea that we can say and call people whatever we want but when we play online we open ourselves up to world and and dont know who we are playing with. Yes somepople want to troll the shit out of people, and enjoy doing it. I agree a little bit with @WoolyEvil that people need to pay no attention to it. At the end of the day, the gamers probably don’t know each other, never meet and even if they did they probably wouldnt know it was them. To say get over it isn’t to say that the fact you are upset isnt validated it simply means OK, Iunderstand your feelings have been hurt but dont let it get to you its a game. I have had loads of shit said to me in the past online, so I just get out. You wouldn’t stay in a pub if the landlord said he shagged your mum and liked it over and over again would you?
Again, I want to make a point and say I do feel sympathetic towards those who get upset when playing game as it does ruin the experience.
People have individual differences too, and although we identify ourselves as a “gamer” that is a very loose and ambigious term. We all react differently to playing situations and real life situations too, individual differences are very important and should be taken into consideration on both part of spectrum (abuser/victim)
And just because a person is upset it doesn’t make thier case right.
Sorry for the tirade im literally just typing so this may make no sense at all.
Good point… I’ve definitely seen people say that kind of crap, and it’s interesting how it directly parallels Binny’s points. Almost like some people are universal jerks or something…
Just like it’s this ‘special’ kind of gamer who hates anyone who isn’t exactly like him. And while I don’t mean to say that all abusers are male (that certainly wouldn’t be true), since the average gamer is a young male adult, that’s who the average abuser is going to be. But it’s these people who decide to hate anyone who they think threatens the status quo.
‘Noobs’ are new players, who may potentially get better. Women apparently make gaming less of a MAN’S sport. Naturally, that goes for anyone who is gay, as well. Just a few examples as to why people who feel the need to lash out feel threatened. At least, this comes from personal experience, and my general opinion :) I’m glad the majority of gamers are like this.
Just as a pre-emptive comment against people who say “IT’S MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN ‘MURICA TO SAY WHAT I WANT”, there are notable exceptions to your freedom of speech found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_free_speech_exceptions
Similarly, online interactions aren’t bound to singular territories so EULAs are drafted up to set up similar behaviour guidelines. Everyone agrees to these contracts when they play online which is why you can be permabanned for being abusive, hacking and breaking other clauses is EULAs.
The thing about Dota is, it’s got a brutal learning curve. It’s difficult to learn, but once you’ve got it, it’s smooth sailing.
Another thing, you REALLY shouldn’t jump into matchmaking before you do a lot of bot games, unless you have an experienced friend there holding your hand. Also, I’m gonna disagree with you on the “I disagree with spending days of study to learn everything in a game before daring to set foot in a game with human opponents!” I’d say reading a few guides is necessary to play heroes correctly, at least until you get the gist of leveling up skills/stats, & items. If you’re on a team, & you have no idea what your hero does, what to buy, or what their heroes do, you’re gonna have a bad time. If you ask your teammates, they can of course tell you, but it’s best to know it yourself.
But of course, I’m only talking about Dota. It’s never okay to abuse other gamers, yadda yadda hats & unusuals.
tl;dr: Dota things.
You’ll only have a bad time if you’re asking for help because you often get met with abuse.
When I played DOTA 2 with some friends, I was constantly asking what to do/build because I was brand new and the guides seemed overwhelming. Instead of being met with abuse, they held my hand through the game and we won because… well, because they weren’t dicks about it.
Fine article Bin.
I was actually really sad when I read that the supposed tougher crackdown of people on Halo 4 just turned out to be so much hot air. I really think that it’s up to the companies to do their part, since in some cases it’s a service that they’re being paid to provide.
It’s not really hot air, there was just a misunderstanding. A lot of people read it as “Sexism of any form will be severely punished in Halo 4” but what was meant was “From the release of Halo 4, sexism of any form will be punished severely across the board”.
Microsoft are doing their part but I think they could be doing a better job. It’s something I’ll probably explore in my next article.
I am SUPER late here, having missed the original article and posting this days after the article is posted, but what the hell.
First a little background. I’ve been playing MOBAs more or less since they’ve existed. I remember when Dota was considered an Aeon of Strife clone, I helped playtest Tides of Blood (a better balanced DOTA clone that NO ONE played), and I remember when I could 2 v 5 and WIN with a Pit Lord and a Necromaner (seriously, we used to do that to make the game fair… And it usually wasn’t).
I’m also a former professional swimmer. In 2000 I had the fastest backstroke New York State had ever seen in a High Schooler, I lifeguarded and I coached Badger Swim School which is ages 5-12,
I tell you this not to toot my own horn, or t impress everyone with my leet skillz or whatever. I tell you this so you understand that when I say that the Swimming analogy is BEYOND stupid, it is coming from one of the more qualified people to make that assessment.
Here’s the key: No sport trains a newbie in a vaccum. You NEVER learn how to swim while dry. EVERY lesson, even when just lecturing, is with you in the water, surrounded by other swimmers (generally better than you). So practicing on bots and AI? Unrelated.
Also, the idea that one should practice for DAYS before playing a game? DAYS? Fuck you.
The correct response to a newbie? COACH them. Teach them. Help them. If the dude is dying a lot, GO TO HIS LANE and watch his back. Watch what he is doing and explain what he is doing wrong. START A DIALOGUE.
There is NEVER any excuse for being abusive to someone online. PERIOD.
And to say that abuse only comes to newbies is silly. Take someone’s kill “unfairly” (good luck defining that) and watch him rage and sabotage the team, then tell me he’s abusive because he doesn’t like losing or because it’s a newbie’s fault.
On the other hand, I haven’t found DOTA2’s community to be THAT awful. Rarely have I seen truly offensive players on my team. But I may have been just lucky…
I found the swimming analogy to be odd, too. I mean, you can actually DIE whilst swimming but I’m yet to hear about that happening in DOTA…
As with any community, there’s a lot of luck involved as to whether you get nice folks, tolerant folks or rude folks but my friends and I found a LOT of the rude folks on the European server. Could be a coincidence, could be a regional thing, there are lots of factors. Still, a lot of the rudeness was completely unnecessary.
Anyway, thanks for your comment Deadpool, you always were my favourite comic book hero.
The essential message of the articIe is, I suppose, a good one. It is obviosuly dumb to ridicule others over the internet while playing an online game. Should people have the right to do that though? Unfortunately yes. In their own home with an AT WILL audience, over the internet or otherwise, there should be no restrictions on ones freedom of speech. I have never been nor will I ever be a fan of censorship in any form. Whether I agree with either the attitudes or the specific colloquial relations between players is irrelevant. I think Voltaire would agree. “While I may not agree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it.” For this reason specifically, the ESRB states that “online interactions are not rated by ESRB” on any online game.
Also missing from this article is the real motivation behind most ridicule in online gaming. These games are a breeding ground for abuse precisely because the game developers have created a game that places its users in highly charged, high energy, high adrenaline situations. It creates situations conducive to abuse because it elicits extreme emotion, which is exactly what the developer’s wanted it to do. It’s what makes a game exciting and what keeps gamers coming back. An unfortunatel by-product of these emotional highs and lows experienced by these gamers is verbal releases of tension and energy, through victory or defeat, or anywhere in between. These developers then give the gamers the ability to speak to teammates and opponents while in this environment, and people are surprised at the results. I’m not. At all. If you want to rail against anyone, regarding this situation, it, perhaps,should be the developers. Because people (not all people, but some) are always going to be yelling at their TV screens, maybe throwing their controllers, or swearing at something that happened. It’s their game, their house, their TV, their controllers, and, therefore, their right. Perhaps it should be how the gamers interact and the people who put that into place who should be accountable, and bar that, perhaps it should be the people who are too sensitive to abuse to be accountable and perhaps not pick up that controller in the first place. And as stated, there are remedies, such as muting or, God forbid, abstinance from playing.
In the end, I am not a fan of abuse in online game play. But is it going anywhere anytime soon? Nope. And should it be mandated by controlling bodies? I hope not.
I do really hope you’re not playing harassment under ‘freedom of speech’. I am indeed all for freedom of speech, but there is a line, like it or not. You do not have the right to harass me or other players (and by harassment, I mean sexual or otherwise, in a constant form. Not a few “fuck you – you suck, newb”s thrown your way, but abuse that persists far beyond that).
But secondly, no one said anything about the government stepping in. This is all regulated by the likes of Sony, Microsoft, etc. Microsoft has every right to tell players that their behavior may be unacceptable, and to ban them if they feel it is necessary. That isn’t censorship in the slightest.
On an unrelated note, does anyone else think that WoollyEviL is secretly Spock? O.o
Given that all the companies are treated as private clubs where they can remove you from their service whenever they like for any reason they want, likening it to what a government could do is kind of moot.
Personally, I think Woolly is more like Hugh from TNG. I also don’t think that Spock is a poorly executed attempt at trolling.
(For the record, I see myself as Picard for no other reason than we come from the same country. The actor, that is, not the ACTUAL character; the last thing I want here is pissed off Star Trek fans…)
Its not a secret.
Also, to quote myself, “Nowhere am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.”
Binerexis: I was thinking along the lines of evil-Spock. Maybe alter-ego Spock? No need for emotions; everything must be logical. Except, since last I checked we are all humans, and thereby do indeed all have emotions of some sort, I think more people should really think about that before opening their mouths.
I’m not bringing the government into that at all, mind you. I’m not saying someone should be arrested for saying ‘mean words’ or ‘trolling’. But as companies, the likes of Microsoft and Sony have it within their power to ban or otherwise punish certain gamers who care so little for the feelings of their fellow man. I think it’s pretty fair, since everyone is made well-aware of the rules, beforehand.
Also, I’m more of a Star Wars fan. Although the reboot for Star Trek was incredible, and I eagerly await the next installment.
Kind of gone off Star Wars as I’ve gotten older. The movies, at least, are just boring to me now.
Ah yes, Evil Spock. I remember him because he was not only evil but also had a goatee to show that he was evil.
[…] 13-year olds send you curse-laden verbal abuse, they’re typically relying on a two-way street of anonymity to enhance the annoyance. They […]
Okay, I just want to clear something up here because the same arguments are being overused by both sides.
I’ve played DotA since the original version, safe to say that was 8-10 years ago. I consider myself a high skill player who has seen it all.
The issue here is that DotA2 is in Beta. The matchmaking system as well as tutorials aren’t good at the moment.
New players also need to be told the following:
DotA2 is a competitive, reactionary game that prides itself on depth. Some players have been with the game for half their lives and they have seen it evolve and grow through all this time. These players STILL do not know everything, in order to strive in this game we recommend the following: X amount of hours into bot games, tutorials, guides and discussions.
If I were to write out all the DotA knowledge I have it would be larger than your average text book. It’s that complex, and of you want to play it; respect that. Also know that the MM system is awful right now. It puts PeeWee’s against NFL all pros.
Now for the rude gamer issues. Yeah.. It happens, sucks but what can you do? If they regulate this 80% of the player base gets banned. Mute button is amazing but team crippling. I get it.
“fun” argument. Meh, it’s a competitive game, if you don’t want to do your best and be the best what’s the point? Maybe go play League or a different genre, DotA was birthed out of players wanting a more complex game than high level WC3. Just how it is. Condemning the game for this is ridiculous in my eyes. I’m biased though, and I put a lot of effort into my DotA matches, (I even eat healthy; partly to keep my head clear so I can play better – winning/carrying = more fun.) My advice to you is to seriously step back, look at DotA from the outside, ignore the players and decide if it’s something you really want to invest in. It’s not a “casual” game. Even if some people advertise it as such.
Dota 2 is an inherently Competitive game. It’s really the only game where beating your opponents through careful examination of situation and timing means everything. Micro skills and high apm are also important to come out on top in battles while always keeping an eye on minimap for incoming allies/enemies with the help of properly placed wards. I really do not know another game that has this high level of tension while playing as Dota, even a split second not paying attention or looking away from the screen can doom you to a loss of advantage, and in a game where snowballing your hero’s advantage is everything that is unacceptable. If you do not enjoy torturing yourself mentally to achieve the high of victory over other players and for your team then I suggest another game. The abuse of other players is fairly easy to get over honestly if you are mature enough to understand that except for the few giving positive feedback towards better builds/etc. are just immature kids. Any pro player knows that insulting your team only leads to less teamwork, and less teamwork is a more likely win for the opposing team.