Top Tier Tactics welcomes Toraka to its writing staff
S/he beat every developer’s high score at Insert Game Here… two weeks before it was even released. S/he won a Magic event or two, using a deck with only four Numai Outcasts, four Sorrow’s Paths, and fifty-two islands. S/he isn’t a fan of the TTT cast, they are his!* The distilled awesome contained within her tears can cure being-in-the-way-of-a-millennia-old-vampire, the common cold, and lameness at the same time. Too bad s/he never cries.
S/he is Doctor Awesome.
Victory starts with T
Okay, enough of that. Greetings, readers. I’m Toraka, also known as Doctor Awesome, and I’ve been kindly invited to join this site’s writer staff. I’m excited for the opportunity to help out; I’ll be doing my best to make TTT as good as it can be.
If you’d like to know about me, I like gaming, pwning newbzez, and ponies. Yes, ponies. If you have a problem with it, feel free to drop a comment so I can ignore you better.
When I’m not wasting my time with games or studying, I like to spend it writing stories, including ponies and more mature/realistic topics – as such, I’m quite knowledgeable about both ponies and the art of writing. (Check out my work here if you want.) No, I won’t drag either of those topics into T3 articles except when it really fits or when I’m asked about it.
~Note from WiNG: Do not ask Toraka about ponies.
Help me help you
Enough about me, and on to what interests you the reader. I have a few ideas for articles to write, but ultimately, what a writer should deliver is what their audience asks for. So I need your opinion. Yes, yours, Tom. Let me know about anything you’d like me to cover. If it’s about gaming (especially on PC), there’s a good chance I know about it.
It doesn’t matter if the content is new, old, or unreleased. With the exception of “modern shooters,” I’m willing to write about whatever you all want. Need help getting past that darned last level in Logical Journey of the Zoombinis? Need strategy on how to best stab faces in the newest episode of Ubisoft’s money printer Assassin’s Creed? You ask, I’ll deliver.
However, please don’t ask me to comment on the newest console generation. First, WiNG is already getting upset enough about it. Second, I don’t really care for or about it when the arguably best gaming platform is already sitting right next to me. Third, and most importantly, I’m running out of puns for the Xbox “359 Steps Back” One. That’s about it on what I don’t want to discuss, but feel free to fire at will about the rest!
*This statement is slightly a lie. Of course the opposite is also true.
Let me be the first to say congratulations comrade, I hope you enjoy your time as a writer.
I can’t say that I’m surprised. You’re comments are generally long than the articles themselves. Congratulations but I am looking forward to your review of the next Call of Generic from the perspective of a pony.
Don’t let me down.
*You’re comments are generally long than the articles themselves* – buuuurrn
:D
But I agree, you best use your talent writing more articles for TTT as making us, especially us foreign readers, self conscious about our commenting skills :)
It’s a mobile phone. Relax, I merely state facts. No judgement here.
Holy shit, you’re the first person I’ve ever heard mention the Zoombinis – that is quite possibly the first game I ever played! Flashbacks to 2nd grade oh my.
PS the sequels sucked
Same here. Perhaps you can’t really call it play, since I was maybe five or something at the time, but it reaches back far. I’d still be playing it now if it weren’t a 16 bit game and thus completely unplayable on Win7. I told them XP was all I needed, but they said something about it not being sold any more… pft.
I’m aware of the remake, but that’s a little bit hard to get here due to other side of the planet and all that jazz. So I suppose I’ll never find out what happens when you fill up the 625. I was so close, too!
And indeed they did. Zoombini Island wasn’t even released in German and the last one… eh. Blame me for saying this, but could it be that the lower path is a little bit of impossible on hard? Not to mention that they replaced the epic announcer dude with somebody who sounds like he’s expecting something from the target audience after they finish playing.
Now that I’ve made the obligatory pedophilia joke that’ll get me banned, to the other two. I’m too lazy to post three separate comments since there’s no reason for it anyhow as you don’t get emails for every comment like I do. Boy, can I already feel that being annoying sometime… anyhow.
Hero: I don’t know why it happens; People just write too short an article. This comment is already longer than this article too, isn’t it. Wouldn’t know, I am literally in the past right now.
I was thinking of a Wing x Binerexis clopfic, but forgot about suggesting it in the article itself. Probably would’ve been censored anyhow. That’s a really great idea you have there, though, if it didn’t involve me playing modern shooters.
Until then, you’ll have to contend with /watch?v=P6ef_sgkPm8
Guy: I clearly had just what it takes to pass a test with such high stakes. Though, everybody knew I would prevail. After all, since when does Doctor F. Awesome ever fail?
Ah, so much trolling to be done, so little time.
Also, it’s totally not awkward to respond to every comment like this, right? I just love doing it, both here and yonder at Fimfiction. So I suppose I’ve technically doubled my workload… perhaps even more since TTT has about the number of hits that my writer site would deserve… why did I do this again?
having looked this up, turns out the sequels came out after i stopped playing them – i must have been thinking of the remake – it’s all muddled in my head lol.
also i’m sure you could find a torrent if you really wanted to
So glad you won’t be covering Spunkgargleweewee by the way!
May I suggest you a few titles:
Warframe! (Totally into warframe as of late – spectacular F2P game)
More Path of Exile pls!
and for the future:
PvZ: Garden Warfare perhaps?
On that note, are you more of a Single-, coop, or Multiplayer?
Be glad that I can yet suppress my need to correct everybody’s English using the powers bestowed upon me. I know, with great responsibility comes… dammit.
Warframe… sounds interesting, we’ll see about what this… nope nope nope nope! Smite is for me, you should play that, it’s good, I don’t need another timewaster.
I’m afraid I can’t really cover Path of Exile, because I don’t play it, because I don’t care about it. In fact, I’ll even draw as much hate as to say that I quite liked Diablo 3. Sure it’s not D2, but did any of you haters ever ask yourself if it really had to be? And did you pause to check on whether the prices in the AH were reasonable, then realise that you can play through the entire game using only the money that drops from normal play? If you can’t then you are just not playing it right. There’s always somebody offering decent gear for a real price.
PvZ: Garden Warfare… yay, more pay2win third person shooters with comiclike graphics put out by companies which should have been outlawed decades ago. In case you can’t tell, I’m still bitter about how EA ran down Battlefield Heroes, the game with the most potential (and potentially the most awesome theme ever). And the actual sequel is only announced for devices that the drooling crowd uses, whoop-de-fuckin’-doo.
Forgive me, I’m being cynical again. I’m sure we’ll see a PC port of PvZ2 and maybe Garden Warfare won’t entirely suck. Maybe it’ll be ten hours of walking through Columbia when everything is still perfectly fine with constant voiceover by John De Lancie and Morgan Freeman. Who knows. I suppose I’ll check it out and tell you about it. Worst comes to worst, I even own an iPhone. 3G. Which I got as a gift. With its Snapple logo overpainted with something with which I’ll let myself be seen. Then again, nobody actually still bothers to code stuff for anything before the iPone nanotouch 9.
Sort of all, actually. I think that a game’s multiplayer can only carry it so far if the story mode’s balls, yet I wouldn’t be opposed to a (separate, see Portal 2 for a good example) decent coop mode for two so that I can drag my best friend into playing with me. No more than two though… because I don’t have any more friends. I suppose I can and probably will have to hook up with Wing for some games, but holy American latency Batman. But, of course, nothing beats a multiplayer where the only interaction you get with other human beings is stabbing them. In the face. With scissors. Gosh, do I love Assassin’s Creed’s multiplayer.
Not so much real cooperative multiplayer though, as with the number of teammates grows the amount of people who are going to be absolute idiots and let your team lose. Except for Smite, that is, because christ can Aphrodite carry a game on her monstrous boobs in the lower ranks before people stop sucking.
Call me Yahtzee if you will – I certainly get to hear it often, and it’s a compliment to me. Who wouldn’t love to be a cynical British writer who earns money complaining about games on the internet. Actually, I’ve got most of it down, and the experience I’ve made with imitating a character takes care of the rest.
I have many friends trying to convince me of DOTA2 and Smite, but I just don’t like Mobas. Granted, the 3rd person view makes it more enjoyable, but the rest really isn’t all that interesting to me.
PvZ2 – man do I hate them for not brining it to PC right from launch. I picked up PvZ on a Steam Sale for 5 bucks and I still play it, how long has it been now? 3-4 years?
Great game when you don’t have internet and want something to pass the time.
I loved D2 just as the next guy, but with D3… It’s not that I think the game sucks, but I try to be a responsible gamer, and when I see companies pressing DRM and money grubbing on their customers, eventhough I consider myself smart enough NOT to fall into their traps, I will not buy it out of principle.
And let’s be honest here, it’s clicking on a screen to shoot monsters and then click some more to pick up the shit they drop.
Doesn’t matter what it calls itself, the experience is more or less the same, only one is free of bullshit and costs no money and the other one is.. well..
Do we know that much about PvZ: GW yet?
I certainly don’t think it should be considered as a triple A title, but enjoyable experiences for a cheap buck are always worth looking into.
I certainly see how you don’t want another time-sink. But Warframe man… I think I’m gonna play me some right now..
Does being intensely prejudiced against Bronies make me a bad person? Sometimes that question keeps me awake at night.
Neigh.
I see what you did there. I think.
I’m going to eat your soul– I mean, that’s coo’, brah.
Ah well, there shall always be neighsayers. If I have to tell a secret, Wing is one too. Slightly.
I’ll just have you know that this fandom is reputed for being the most punniest of all. I certainly can confirm that, as much as it boggles me bungles, since there’s not really any reason to assume that a society where ponies evolved to be the intelligent species would use any other language, use pony puns everywhere, or even call themselves ponies.
(You can find a post of me philosophising about that topic at http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/172532/coming-to-think-of-it)
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?!?!?
Hey, congratulations Toraka. I was honestly wondering if you’d end up writing here one day, given that you were somewhat of a regular in the comments section. Look forward to reading more from you, now that you can do things all fancy-like.
Also, unrelated to the above. This is a dumb question, but where did the login go? I can seem to find it anymore.
ugh, I can’t seem to find it anymore, is what I meant. Obviously if I could find it I wouldn’t have an issue.