Monday is boring; Why not troll people on Facebook?
Who invented Mondays, anyway? Was it God? Was it Thomas Jefferson? Was it the ancient Gregorians?
Perhaps all of existence, including time itself, is simply a giant construct designed to infuriate its participants. Perhaps, on the highest plane of existence there sits a being whose entire delight rests in trolling humanity.
Step 1: Invent Mondays
Now, I realize that complaining about Mondays isn’t original, or tacical, or even entertaining. One might wonder “Did WiNG just run out of things to write about? Perhaps we didn’t send him enough money?”
While that’s certainly part of the problem, the larger issue is general ennui and a shake of writer’s block. So, I present to you an oldie-but-a-goodie: my guide to the ultimate Facebook game, Wasting Other Peoples’ Time and Toying With Their Emotions…
The Most Dangerous Game
- Choose the “Like this!” option on sad status updates. How will Ken react when you “like” his status, “I never knew I could hurt this much inside”? Who knows? You can always claim you were actually liking his introspection.
- Choose a random friend you never talk to. Go through their 2nd oldest photo album and find a picture of something pointless, like of their backyard, or a random building, or someone you don’t know. Now post a baffling, cryptic comment. “I’m glad to see things haven’t changed.” After they receive your odd, unsettling remark, feel free to ignore the inevitable follow-up private message.
- Send a random Gift to someone you never talk to. Don’t include any explanation.
- Always always tag people’s butts, hands, toes, or backs in photos. Never tag the face, even if it’s visible. Better yet, tag their cars.
- Post a link to the most hate-ridden website possible. Don’t comment on it. Is it scary, or satire? Your audience gets to decide. Everyone’s a winner.
- Find pictures of celebrities on-line, preferably in casual settings. Save the pictures to your phone’s memory card, then upload it to Facebook as a Mobile Photo Upload, naming the photo simply with the celebrity’s name. When people ask where you saw them, name the place that person most frequents in town.
- Know someone who posts way too much? Poke them. Every time they post. Since poking is pretty much universally hated by now, you can at best pin your hopes on provoking a Pavlovian response to their endless posting. If they ask you to stop, that probably warrants a poke.
- Never leave comments on anything other than “I don’t get it.”
- Choose an acquaintance and post a nonsensical but seemingly-out-of-context blurb on their wall. “Hahhaa, right! Well, at least in America, anyway!” If they respond (they won’t), feign ignorance.
- Create a group named after a mutual friend/acquaintance of most of your Facebook friends. Invite everyone you know except that person to the group. Do not add any information, updates, or posts to the group other than a single picture of the subject’s face.
- Update your favorite music, movies, quotes, etc every day. Remove and re-add the same band every 2 or 3 days for the most surreal experience possible.
- Create a blank Paint document and use the Type Tool to write down the names of 4 or 5 friends. Upload the JPEG to Facebook and tag each name to its corresponding friend. Delete the inevitably confused comments.
- Get into arguments with the friends of your friends you don’t know in the comments section of any post. If you’re reprimanded, just claim you posted it by accident.
- Find a wide-angle picture of a graveyard and upload it to Facebook. Tag random people to random headstones. Erase any comments posted.
The lulz never stop
Looking for more way to embarrass your friends, your family, and yourself? Check out Top Tier Tactic’s follow-up post: More Ways to Troll Facebook.
Or “How to troll on Facebook”.
14th one only for advanced trolls with experience on ruining people’s lives and lacking any kind of emotion.
Post “ants” on every single comment you can find, then post “ex” after your first post
Hahah, it’s like in France, right? Idiots.
LOL the last one is hilarious. That’ll show those people tagging the Care Bears posters. I think that’s a form of trolling in itself…
Thought Process: Oh! Cute/annoying poster bring back memories of the 80’s. Let’s see, who am I? ::hovering mouse over blurry bears:: Wait a second, why was I tagged as Grumpy Bear!? what are they trying to say exactly?
I am ALWAYS friggin’ Grumpy Bear.
people from the eighties were a bunch of dumbfucks.
#15 – Post something sinister or evil on someones update, once someone has responded delete your post to ensure both anger and confusion.
the only people who do this are the sociopaths that no one likes. trolling with your real name on social networking sites is retarded; going through the ordeal to create a fake account that will be banned anyway is more so.
stick to /b/ and jerk off there
Don’t know anything about /b/, care to explain?
Fapping to /b/ is very dangerous.
You know that’s right. Also rules 1 and 2 apply.
Rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids. Which don’t happen anymore.
Unless incited by funnyjunkers or the occasional newfag
Well I do it but Im not a sociopath. I’m just bored alot. Long story.
Basically most of my friends laugh with me when they get trolled, coz they troll too. Occasionally you get the odd person who gets confused (opportunity) or gets angry (BIIIG opportunity.) So long as you know the ethical boundaries and dont do something like 14 which will probably result in losing alot of friends very fast, then you get laughs and some others do too. Not all of us are the type to troll endlessly and have no humanity. I troll for a while when I’m bored then do something productive afterwards and troll again a week or so later.
Find a status that is about popular events. For example, though this probably won’t be the case, “Hitler is a douche”. Infallibly, a perosn will respond: “I Agree. Hitler was a dick”. Post a comment “I thought Hitler had a pretty good point”. Wait for the infallible response of “How could you say something like that?! That’s so insensitive!”
Delete previous comment. :)
Haha!
That’s pretty cool
Rules 1&2?
Fuck off you scum sucking /b/tard piece of shit.
↑MAD↑
Rules 1 & 2 only apply during raids, faggot.
maybe this will clear things up
http://aninformalschoolcalledlife.blogspot.com/2011/01/back-to-school.html
Change yout birthdate for today, some people will greet you, and other will know, it’s hillarious
nice one
Post a status saying:
(your name here) just found out their first post on facebook was “(make something up here)”
find out what your first post was here: (link to lemonparty here)
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THIS IS TOO FUN
EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE SO PERTURBED
THOU ART THE LORD HIGH OF THE TROLOLOLOL
lololol i totally did the graveyard thing
I am doing this to enrich my night. Thank you, sir.
Here’s my way to troll people! :D
http://virbots.in/2011/kill-facebook-prank/
Am currently attempting number 14. Shortly after though, I thought that I should add my own lil flair to it. status= “Anyone know of a decent gun store that doesn’t ask a lot of questions?”
LOVE that graveyard thing
Better yet, when your friend leaves his facebook up do this on his account
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL FUCKING WITH PEOPLE IS HILARIOUS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
the See more Official Facebook page ! go to it to day the link is http://www.facebook.com/pages/See-more/202041696509640?sk=wall
Big ol’ troll here
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001820995078&sk=wall
The best one I’ve ever seen is you get your whole circle of friends to update their status to “(subject name here) will be missed. RIP” and other things of that nature. The best part is when people who aren’t in on it start posting comments like that too. Best to do it when the victim is on holiday or trying to kick the facebook habit.
go to someones page and leave a very sexual remark about how you had a great time and they can really take it and you cant wait for the next time
enjoy :)
I have found out an awesome trick on facebook to prank your friends goto http://www.facebookmaniacs.in or goto Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/lmao.i.fooled.you
An awesome thing You must try once Loved this Page.
To the idiot that calls itself WiNGSPANTT.
Come on… I mean. Come. On Posting such meaningless drivel is one thing, but admitting to writers block while displaying such poor standards/understanding of what is supposed to be an art form, is a great insight in to what a lifeless, dumb fucker you must be.
What does humour mean to you? Surely confusing idiots in such laborious, distant ways would be boring, if not painfully so?
I can’t even begin to imagine how lonely it is, to live in this way.
Everyone who uses myface or spacefuck as anything more than a tool to communicate with geographically distant friends knows they are a depressing perv, trying to read between the lines of their fellow chumps narcissistic self-representations, hoping to find their lives are as empty as their own… or something.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against fucking with people but you clearly need schooling, to realise what an idiot you really are, that the people who cheer you on are all pond life.
Anyone agree? Anyone?
Sincerley,
Hugh F. Beantrold
It’s…
a joke?
Christ.
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FUNNEST WAY TO TROLLLL:
Post a status like : If you type your password and enter it, it shows up as stars. LOOK<3 : ********************************* (Put your password, but type in stars)
Then get a friend to post there password in starts, and let the troll begin. LOL, but you have to be fast befre they delete there comment :P
This sound like the best and easiest way to become the biggest douche bag on anyone’s friends list
Really informative blog. Fantastic.
I laughed through the whole post. I have to try these sometime, if I only dare.
Haha here’s one..
When you go on your friends Facebook edit their info like change what sex they are interested in…
Ex. If its a guy change his to interested in men
If its a girl change it to interested in women.
another good tip: make your profile picture a group picture where it’s difficult to see anyone’s face. This way, more people might accept your friend request with the assumption that they know you but just don’t know your name.
Did u noticed that the symbol “&” is like a person dragging his Butt ??
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P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!
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14th is funniest. but better try it with people who has a sense of humor.
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Well Darlings, Following the NHS link to the failed car bomb attacks in London and Glasgow, we’re told Prime Minister Gordon Brown has ordered an urgent review into how NHS doctors are recruited from overseas – but will that be sufficient,hollister? What makes him think “sleeping cells” amongst the more highly educated are going to be restricted to our health service? They are likely to be anywhere – or everywhere! I doubt it would be any harder to become accepted as (say) a civil servant than to become accepted as a brain surgeon – and it is a brain surgeon who is believed to be the mastermind behind the London and Glasgow car bombs,air jordan pas cher. With all that information at their finger-tips, what better place could be infiltrated than the establishment? A failed asylum seeker, Omar Altimimi, convicted of six charges of possessing material for the purpose of terrorism and two of money laundering, has been sentenced to nine years. Er . . . He’s a FAILED asylum seeker? 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As I write this, the smoking ban is nearly a week old in England. It came into force on Sunday, and on Monday, along with some good friends, I hit the town’s pubs and clubs to see how they were being affected. The venues able to provide smoking areas, apart from loitering threateningly outside in the street where one may not take their drink, seemed unaffected by numbers – although that may not have been the immediate impression. Entering the first one early that evening, the Mardi Gras in Blackpool, we were dismayed to see just two customers. This was not the venue we knew and loved. However having bought our drinks we soon discovered the thoughtfully provided smoking area, and found it to be full of life. 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Inviting a few friends to bring some tinnies round for a sociable evening will likely become much more of an attraction, although what adverse repercussions the added noise of this will have on neighbourhoods remains to be seen. Regular readers will recall I once lived in an enormous and isolated farmhouse where we would throw a big party (all-nighters with up to 250 guests!) every few months, and in-between these have countless smaller sociable gatherings. It was in a time before the commercial scene came close to us, so we were on everybody’s list,hollister, and we were not alone – out in the sticks there were many places like us who would regularly put on “a bit of a do”. I suspect in rural areas, where such places can exist without incurring complaints, because of this smoking ban they could once more like a Phoenix rise from the ashes. (Pun intended.) It is well known – and if it isn’t by some it soon will be – that there is often far more “freedom” (if you get my gist!) at such private parties than any venue could ever hope to provide even in this enlightened age. Once resurrected, they could prove popular. Whilst such a change in lifestyle might be slow to kick-off, and probably wouldn’t affect big scene places to any great extent, I suspect it would at least become noticeable. If there is a good one of these gatherings within striking distance,hollister Five Tips to Stay Motivated When Your Job Stays Ho, even a small one, who in their right mind is going to suffer all the hassle of the journey to the big scene,hollister, the cost of a hotel, the entry fee to a club, and the price of drinks in a place where they have to brave the weather every time they want a cigarette, when a couple of bottles or a number of tinnies will get them into a fun all-night (or longer) unrestricted party? The big scene may soon find it is relying more and more on local people, and less on the rural visitor. Where the law has been in effect longer than in England (that’s Scotland, Ireland, and Wales), unconfirmed figures – surprisingly no official ones appear to be public, so these figures are from differing sources ? suggest, averaged out,abercrombie, a licenced premises has closed down every week as a direct result of the smoking ban, and continues to do so. Having failed to cancel two mailing lists after deciding in 2003 against buying a pub or a hotel, I can confirm that more and more “opportunities” come on to the market every month, especially in these places, so I for one would not like to dispute the accuracy of those figures. There are now countless pubs, clubs, restaurants and small hotels to be snapped up for a song, and obviously fewer people wanting them. Some I viewed in 2003 are back on the market today, and on offer for a mere fraction of the original asking price. I think I decided wisely – times they may be a changing! Non-smokers have not flooded into licenced premises to replace the smokers despite all the promises, I never expected them to, and something to make a complete mockery of the law is the fact that many non-smokers who once used to go to these places now themselves don’t go anymore simply because their smoking friends aren?t there. QUESTION: If there are as many non-smokers as they claim, an overwhelming majority so they say, then why by natural market forces didn?t just as overwhelmingly a majority of non-smoking venues spring up to cater for them? As you cannot buck market forces, it is a question which suggests (some would say proves) we have been subjected to a lot of spin and lies. Yes, smoking is without a doubt unhealthy, and in time it can make you ill and even lead to lung cancer – but people have to die of something. Many people happily risk dying for their pleasure ? the mountaineer, the equestrian, the potholer, the yachtsman, and countless others ,louboutin pas cher What Is A Camper Shell – free article co? so why not the smoker? Remove lung cancer and something else will become the nation’s next favourite killer. What then? Take away another freedom? This time perhaps fast-foods? Crisps? Pies and pasties? Sweets? Sugar? Sugary drinks ? like beers and lemonades? What? What will they want to ban next? Who will suffer next? Sufferers of smoke-related illnesses will on average,abercrombie pas cher, through a lifetime of exorbitant taxes on tobacco, in real terms have paid for the cost of their treatment many, many times over. The same cannot be said for many other treatments people receive throughout a lifetime, some of them far more expensive. Providing facilities could exist which ensured those who objected to smoke didn?t have to suffer it,abercrombie, and they could quite easily,abercrombie, there is no credible reason for this ban. Will ?the authorities? ever stop banning things and allow us to live our own lives? They are our lives ? not theirs! It is we who should be making the choices ? not them! Who is really behind all this banning, and what are their true motives? I fear if we were to find out,karen millen, we may not like the truth. Once we lived in fear of a foreign State that controlled its people – the USSR. Today we live more in fear of our own State. This is progress? ?The Bitch!? 07/07/07.
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鈥淵es,鈥�replied the other. 鈥淎 clever devil that 鈥�wasn鈥檛 he? I knew that girl he was in with, too 鈥�you know who I mean. Miss Butler 鈥�wasn鈥檛 that her name?鈥�
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