Ultimate real life tactic: Double Door Etiquette
There are some things in life that most people have no strategy for: paying taxes, finding a significant other, and… walking through doors in public places.
Click the image or read more for the full comic.
The places I tend to frequent have a shocking tendency to leave the second door locked, for reasons beyond my comprehension.
What do?
Smash. ALWAYS smash.
Precise reason I carry my Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device everywhere. I make doors!
I’m just going to say that the last panel of that comic strip is awesome.
WiNG, that’s very Irish and ungentlemanly of you.
You had the first part right, open the other door. But once the door is open, proceed to take cover behind the door and leave it open. Thus allowing the person outside to be greeted indoors like a king, and leaving you in many possibilities open at that point.
For example, what if the person entering is your contract target? That’s +200 right there for incognito and +100 for being in low profile. Or what if that person was actually a pyro? You avoid bumping into them and bursting into flames!
Okay, I actually laughed out loud at the last few sentences.
can you give us a tactic regarding the unpleasant issue of having to pass gas in public?
The wisest man I know once passed down to his sons this secret. It takes much training, but a gentlemen should never “Pass Gas” in public. To do so would be unkempt and very rude to anyone in the vicinity, including any madams or dignitaries.
Rather, it was passed down that one must proceed to “release” said buildup only when can rely on outside forces; (Such as the wind, background noises, and/or strange sounds of heavy breathing from behind you.) When done properly, you will be able to discreetly free yourself from temporary uncomfort, allowing the wind to blow the gas away, noises to distract patrons from questioning if the fumes where created by a fellow gentleman, and muting said hunters in their steps, buying you time to leave the vicinity unnoticed like a silent gassy assassin.
thats brilliant sir
what if its an elevator?
It all makes perfect sense now! All these years Ive been doing it the wrong way,but now my eyes have been opened.
HA! Been there, done that!
Got a big ol’ smile out of me.