Call of Duty Ghosts: How to enjoy the game

If you’re like me and are a masochist very good at life, you bought Call of Doggy: Wet Posts, and you bought it for PC. If you bought it for console, you are even better at life, because you get to buy it again pay just $10 to get an upgrade to next-gen. Either way, I’d wager you’re somewhat frustrated by the game. I have a few tips on how to enjoy Fall of Duty: Most Failures, and they revolve around how many shits you give (for the record, the number’s fairly low).

How much should you care?

The answer, as above, is very little. Ghosts is a game that harkens back to the earliest arcade shooters, where “common sense” and “strategy” are far less important than “OMG THERE’S A GUY SHOOT HIM AHHHHHHH!” If you get my meaning. That said, you certainly can employ smart play and well timed attacks to get high scores and kill/death ratios. Indeed, most CoD players go for that sort of thing, but the problem I had, and some of you might have as well, is we like to win. We like seeing all the flags capped, all the kills ours, all the tags collected, etc.

Those ideas are a hindrance. They are unnecessary. Disregard them immediately. If you don’t have a way to get your money back from Activision and want to justify your purchase, care about one thing and one thing only: your own “enjoyment,” such as it is. Care nothing for your KD, nothing of your team’s score or how utterly incompetent your teammates are. The instant, I say again, the very instant you feel yourself growing frustrated, leave the lobby. Change the game mode. Change your weapon. Turn your PC off and/or play something else.

No choice? No problem?

In the event that you must enjoy Ghosts or have nothing else to play, the following suggestions will help you find the “fun” you sorely lack.

1. Roll Support streaks. Completely non-stress, there’s no punishment for failure or death when it comes to Support. Run just a Sat-Com, and every four kills you get a shiny radar-dish-thing that might not be completely useless. You’ll also receive 100 points for your lack of trouble, and your teammates might not talk too much shit about you.
2. Use whatever weapons you find fun. Not effective. Fun. I don’t care if it’s a sniper, a shotgun, an SMG, or even the fucking riot shield. If you start laughing like a schoolgirl when you get a kill with it, use it.
3. Play however’s fun for you. Remember, this is Call of Duty, the one game where even when people “care” about your playstyle, they really don’t. If trolling people from the back of the map gives you that fuzzy feeling, by all means, troll on.
4. Talk as much or as little as you like. You’ll run into the most infantile interesting people in gaming when playing Mall of Booty: Toasts (don’t ask), so sometimes listening is the best way to go.

Follow those four steps, and I can kinda guarantee that you won’t have a terrible time.

If you must try…

Don’t.

If you still must try…

Well, then I feel sorry for you, but I’ll give you a few pointers. First, while submachine guns are great for their mobility, Ghosts is a game dominated by the assault rifle, and there are two you should unlock as soon as you can. The ARX is about as well-rounded a gun as there is Ghosts, everywhere from damage to hipfire, mobility, and fire rate. In the event you do want to use a sub, the MTAR-X is the assault-submachine hybrid of the game, so slap on a muzzle break and you have a short-ranged AR.

However, the OP gun of the game right now is the MSBS, a three round burst monster that harkens back to the Modern Warfare 2 FAMAS. The thing is, the new gun has the FAMAS beat in every department. The burst delay might be the same, but the MSBS is lethal in two shots to a more considerable distance. Even at two burst range, you’ll find the recoil settles quickly enough that you’re essentially firing a death-laser.

For perks, the Dead Silence, Amplify, Hardline setup is the way of the future. Run Specialist for that extra kick in the pants. Off the Grid is less useful than you’d think, given a Sat-Com’s limited life and its less-than-expected spam. You could also forgo most high cost perks and load up on 1 pointers, just make sure you’ve got Scavenger in there if you want to keep using your favorite gun.

Lastly, game types. For ranking up fast, there’s no better mode than Cranked. Double XP for all cranked kills and a full complement of Speed tier perks while cranked makes even the worst player serviceable, if only for a little while. If you want to tone down the chaos as much as possible, play a mode like Domination or Kill Confirmed. Sure, there’ll be stressful moments, but overall you’ll find it to be much like Call of Duty’s past. Cranked is just a clusterfuck of a mode.

Still, it’s better than Team Deathmatch, which might not be saying all that much.