Top Tier Tips: Competitive TF2 *snicker* and competitive eating

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Compete and contrast

Dear T3,

I’ve been playing tf2 ever since October of 2009, and to this day I still love it. Though one thing I don’t love is what I can only describe as prejudice towards competitive play from people who are consider themselves as pubbers. After I finally got my “sea-legs” in tf2 I began to explore every aspect of tf2. I have put in at least 24 hours into every class, played every game mode, played with every custom map, and even dabbled in competitive play. When I played competitively I realized 2 things:

1. I’m no where near good enough to play this way without hours of practice that I simply don’t have
2. This kind of playing is extremely refreshing and a nice break from the chaos of public servers.

Competitive tf2 was really quite the experience as the community is very close knit. While my ragtag team of pubstars was obviously not up to snuff compared to some of the veterans we played, they were very welcoming of new blood. Also the experience brought me much closer to my teammates as there was a greater sense of camaraderie. They stopped being that random guys who were fairly good at certain classes on the server I frequent they become real friends.

While I don’t play competitively anymore due to my lack of time to be at the level of skill necessary to not suck, I still advocate that competitive tf2 is something everyone should at least try. Here lies my problem…

Every time the topic of competitive tf2 comes up, everyone seems to just scoff and go on about how absurd it is. Typically I’m meet with comments to the effect of, “Anyone who plays competitively is a loser who has no life.” or “It’s just a bunch of nerds getting together trying to show off their mad skills in a way that the creators of tf2 never intended.”

While I know everyone is entitled to their opinion, I don’t understand how one can have a stance on something that they know nothing about. The people who say these kind of things have never given it a chance and don’t plan on doing so cause they think it’s a disease or something.

How can I let these people know that competitive tf2 isn’t a gathering of elitist players who don’t have fun playing tf2, and that it can be just as fun (if not more) than everyday tf2?

-Prinny!

Dear Prinny!,

The main issue here is that there isn’t a good comeback to someone who criticizes something without knowledge of it. Their argument is invalid from the get go, but for their part they don’t care. What I find, however, is that the people who say what you describe are in fact even bigger nerds than you and me. The people you mention probably have more time invested in TF2 than a good half or two thirds of competitive players. Being a pub star takes as much if not more dedication than competency in competitive play, I think. Why? There’s a ton of bullshit in pub matches, and completely dominating when every second of the game you might die with no reason other than you’re just unlucky. Competitive play bares the game at its bones, and many of the deaths you accrue are, while annoying, understandable and reasonable.

My advice to you then, is threefold. First, understand that the people you’re trying to convert are probably complete asshats and learn to ignore them. Second, if they come after you with shit to rile you, use the skills you learned in competitive play and obliterate them. I know that you can. Third, and this is important, know that you and your friends are genetically superior to the masses of unwashed pub players and as such you do not to take lip from any of them.

Sincerely,
Xiant

Chew the fat

Dear WiNG,
This is an incredibly simple question that I somehow need an answer to.
What should I eat For dinner?

Sincerely,
Guy923

Dear Guy923,

I can’t tell you what to eat for dinner, but I can tell you what to eat for a living: hamburgers. Good God, if there isn’t another meal on Earth that was designed to be as easily mass-consumable as a mother-loving hamburger. I mean, why even ask? Why aren’t you already gorging yourself on the charred remains of a thousand delicious bovines? And just think – if you get good enough at eating hamburgers, you could do it for a living! And if that doesn’t work out, you could steal hamburgers for a living.

But don’t get caught! I hear the penalty for first degree hamburgling is 15 years without a major marketing campaign.

Cheers,
WiNGSPANTT