Soon there will be even fewer of these rare items that will never be owned by anybody.

Note: All questions displayed are actual questions I have received.

Where does the donation money go?

All donations made through the ChipIn widget go directly to Child’s Play Charity. ChipIn is used solely to count donations made as part of this fundraiser, and will open a certified Paypal payment window pre-populated with the information necessary to send funds to Child’s Play. Chil’s Play uses this money to purchase requested goods for children’s hospitals.

I’m a mouth-breathing ne’er-do-well. Who’s to say you’re not stealing the money?

As you (or any of the hundreds of current donors) can see, Paypal verifies your gift goes directly to Child’s Play. You will also receive a PayPal receipt verifying your donation once it is made.

Why can’t I just donate directly to Child’s Play?

You can certainly do this by visiting the Child’s Play official web site. But you won’t, because you’re probably a troll.

I don’t have any money to donate. How can I help?

There are many ways you can help without donating. The easiest is to spread the word about this fundraiser to friends, the gaming community, and gaming news sites (like Kotaku). You can also install the Official Golden Charity TF2 Spray, or simply spam advertising mention this event in game!

I’m really angry  I didn’t get a Golden Wrench, and I’m even angrier you are wasting yours! Why would you do this?!

I think this question serves as its own answer.

Can you just trade or sell me your Golden Wrench instead?

There is no trading in TF2, and unless you were going to offer at least double the current donation total: no. Also, selling a Steam account is a violation of the Steam user agreement.

Nobody cares about your Golden Wrench. You’re an attention whore.

Obviously people have cared to the tune of thirty-one thousand dollars in donations. I’m not going to dispute the latter accusation; deal with it.

Child’s Play is a stupid charity! Charity X is a much better charity!

While there are many wonderful charities in the world, I chose Child’s Play in part due to its history working so closely with the gaming community. If you’d like to start a separate fundraiser for a different charity, however, I’d love to discuss it with you.

How did you convince other Golden Wrench owners to join you?

It wasn’t easy, and by far the hardest part was tracking each of them down. Just like me, they receive so many friend requests and spam that there is no easy way to talk to them. I had to use the Wrench Log to follow them into TF2 servers and make my case in-game. While those who have joined me were relatively quick to agree once they learned what was going on, there have been twice as many who told me to go **** myself. Many of the other Wrench owners do not play often or do not speak the same languages I do, making convincingly them impossible, in all likelihood.

How do I get added to the Charity Update Log and the Steam Community contributor group?

Easy: just contact me with your name, display name, and a working link to your Steam community page (or any other link). Please note that donations received after 3:45 pm on August 6th are no longer eligible for the Update Log, as the Update Log is now full at 1,000 donors. If your donation was completed before this threshold, I can certainly still add you. If you donated after this time and before August 24th, you can still contact me to be invited to the official Steam Community group.

Since you deleted your wrenches, I’ll have another shot at getting one, right?

No. This was already proven false after Grantz (#27) accidentally deleted his Golden Wrench. Golden Wrenches will not be recirculated; they will most likely be gone forever (barring shenanigans by Valve).

Did I miss the event?

Yes. Luckily, advances in quantum mechanics are bringing us closer to working time-travel technology every day.